


A faded hallucination that calls out to me

by hheybibi



Series: *~-MX REQUEST DUMP-~* [6]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Death, Hallucinations, Healing, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27072211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hheybibi/pseuds/hheybibi
Summary: After the car crash Hyunwoo doesn't know how to cope*OR*Hoseok dies in a car crash and Kihyun helps him move on
Relationships: Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Series: *~-MX REQUEST DUMP-~* [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920895
Comments: 3
Kudos: 38





	A faded hallucination that calls out to me

**Author's Note:**

> REQUEST: Can I request a ShowHoKi fic? ShowHo are husbands, Hoseok dies in a car accident and haunts Hyunwoo when he starts to date Ki
> 
> omg- this was very fun to write, thank you for requesting

_The truck behind them skidded off it’s side of the road and crashed into their white sedan car. Everything from there kind of happened in slow motion. Their car tumbled and ended upside down. Flying particles of glass everywhere. The smell of fire and burning tires. Hoseok’s bloody face_

_He looks unconscious but Hyunwoo can’t really tell because his vision starts to blur before it turns completely dark_

He jerks up awake, a heaving sweaty mess. He runs a hand through his hair while trying to blink the tears away and catch his breath

“Bad dream?” 

Hyunwoo’s head whips up and meets Hoseok’s eyes. He’s sitting on the desk across Hyunwoo’s room

Hyunwoo wants to answer him but doesn’t because Hoseok’s not really there

“Wanna talk about it?” 

Hyunwoo doesn’t realize he’s crying before Hoseok’s suddenly next to him and uses his thumb to wipe the tears away, “Go away” his voice comes out as a raspy whisper

It’s been three years since the car crash and Hoseok’s death, yet Hyunwoo’s still having hallucinations

Hoseok doesn’t leave though. He just sits there and looks at Hyunwoo with sad eyes. And Hyunwoo wants nothing more than to just cuddle up with him and lay there until the sun rises

But he can’t. Because Hoseok’s not really there

He trudges to the bathroom and splashes cold water on his face hoping to rid his mind of any thoughts. He raises head up and stares into the mirror to see Hoseok looking at him 

“Remember when you bought that Coca-Cola flavored toothpaste for my birthday” Hoseok smiles 

He does remember. Hoseok used it once and threw it out and forced Hyunwoo to buy him dinner that night

Hyunwoo closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and counts backwards from ten to zero, then exhales

Once he opens his eyes Hoseok’s gone and he sighs

He doesn’t bother to go back to sleep because he already knows he won’t be able to close his eyes without dreaming of that day, without dreaming of Hoseok

He decides to go for a jog, it’s almost the normal time he wakes up anyway

The jog doesn’t help one bit. He keeps thinking, what if they didn’t go out that day, what if that truck didn’t swerve off it’s lane, just a bunch of what ifs

And every time he closes his eyes it’s Hoseok’s bloody face looking at him with watery eyes and a terrified face

He can’t look him for more than a few seconds without feeling guilty

\--

When Kihyun had suggested for them to go to a diner he’d recently found, he had expected it to be some fancy place, but it’s not. It’s Hoseok’s favorite noodle shop, the same place where Hyunwoo proposed

He remembers Hoseok’s face streaming with uncontrollable tears and hugging Hyunwoo so hard he felt like he was going to suffocate

They sit in a booth with their food spread out in front of them. Kihyun munches away on some bread rolls while Hyunwoo looks around with wary eyes, he doesn’t even pick up his utensils

Kihyun notices and places a hand on Hyunwoo’s “What’s wrong?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong? You used to love this place” a voice calls from the table next to him

It’s Hoseok. Hyunwoo looks at him and feels his heart shatter even more. He struggles to swallow the lump in his throat

“You’re not real” he tries to blink away the tears that are threatening to fall

“What’s wrong? You’re shaking” Kihyun looks at him confused and worried

Hyunwoo notices his trembling hands and tries to hide them under the table

“Is..it about Hoseok?” Kihyun asks in a carefully measured tone 

Hyunwoo told Kihyun about Hoseok around three months after they started dating. Kihyun listened well and even held him when he started to sob

Taking the silence as an answer Kihyun rubs his thumb in a circle on Hyunwoo’s hand 

“I keep seeing him everywhere and he won’t go away” Hyunwoo’s voice comes out a shaky whisper

Kihyun doesn’t say anything and looks at Hyunwoo lovingly

“I’m sorry” Hyunwoo tries wiping the tears that are rolling out “I shouldn’t be bringing up my dead husband while we’re together”

Kihyun makes a disapproving sound “Don’t say that”. He slides off the chair and sits next to Hyunwoo “I knew what I was signing up for when I started dating you and if talking about what happened is part of it then so be it”

Hyunwoo turns to properly hug Kihyun. He cries his eyes out on Kihyun’s neck as Kihyun rubs his back comfortingly and tries

\--

Kihyun doesn’t know why Hyunwoo woke him up at crack in the morning to drive him to a bridge, but he might have a faint idea

Hyunwoo sits next to him in the passenger's seat clutching a wooden box so hard his knuckles are white

They reach the bridge and Hyunwoo takes a deep breath before getting out of the car. They walk over to the ledge and Hyunwoo sighs

Hoseok leans over the railing and looks at Hyunwoo with a small smile “I’m glad you found someone” he says

He cups Hyunwoo’s face in his hands and gives a little peck on his nose

Hyunwoo lets the box fall over the ledge with shaky hands and tears watering in his eyes again as he watches Hoseok fade into thin air and the box makes a splash into the river

Kihyun moves in closer and engulfs Hyunwoo in a hug. He closes his eyes and nuzzles into Kihyun’s neck

Now he doesn’t see Hoseok’s bloody face instead he sees Hoseok face free of blood and a little smile

I want to be awake from this vicious place I’m wandering aimlessly in this dark hallucination

If it’s all going to end anyhow I’d rather be devoured within you

At that time, even the hallucination of you

Can be a form of solace to me…

**Author's Note:**

> ahh I dont know how to feel, showho is my otp and i live for angst so this was interesting
> 
> I hope this came out decent, if not forgive me 
> 
> Send me fanfic requests on my [TWITTER](https://twitter.com/hheybibi) and on my [Curious Cat <3](https://curiouscat.me/hheybibi). You can be as specific about it as you want <33


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